I wish it was Friday the 13th, it woud be the very perfect day to type my incoherant ramblings. Instead, it's Thursday the 11th, the day of my last crit, after which I'm a free bird. Yes, I'm graduating.

Life's been cruel but surprising. I don't know if I won the battles with my teachers or if they did. Not that it matters, really, because I'll be the one student remembered as the angry one. No, more like pissed off. Most of the times with I-know-it-all teachers and inconsiderate students. I do want to like people, I really do, even though I have nothing to like them for. I have few keepers for life, however, good people, fabulous in fact.

So I was imagining the glorious jewellery designing job, good money, starting living on my own, meeting people, moving out to a big city (London most preferably...), and one day... poof! My teachers broke my bubble by informing me how little skills I do posess, how nobody will want to hire me and sending me back to school at F.I.T. I wish they understood how sick I am of the six years of college I had. And how shameful it will be to come back living with my parents at the age of 26. Pity me. No, don't. I don't need that. I need some time off, time to concentrate, few encouraging words and the fire to go ahead. There is no need to be angry, is there?

I used to listen to graduating students saying how clueless they are. I thought there will be no reason for me to freak out. And I'm scared now. Scared that I'll stay living at my parent's my whole life. Ugh... no. I"m scared that I'll be stuck in the US, that something will keep me from moving to UK and I'll forever be unhappy. I'm scared that I'll end up living under the bridge in a cardboard box.

Nonetheless, I couldn't be happier to close another chapter (as they say) of my book and start writing another beginning, no matter how crappy it'll turn out to be.

Cheers to all you mental artists,